Why don't you START acting like a child!

As I sat perched like an over-sized toddler on the tiniest wooden chair known to mankind (I'm sure), I listened to the head teacher describe the everyday activities of the students in the "primary" room. I was attending open house at my son's Montessori school and was there to learn just exactly what my son would experience in his new classroom. You see he's a big boy now and will soon be making the transition from the "toddler" room to the "primary" room.

With my hands folded across my unusually high knees, I listened intently as each working station in the room was described. From reading and writing to mathematics and geography, the team of teachers described the activities of the children and more importantly how they would learn from these activities.

It was the practical life area that grabbed my attention the most, however. If your not familiar with the Montessori method of teaching, the practical life area is where they concentrate on learning everyday activities from pouring a drink of water on their own to developing strength for writing skills.

It wasn't so much the practical life area itself that grabbed my attention, it was how the teacher explained the learning method. She said, "We only teach them each skill once. After that, the continue to learn through application." She continued, "It's okay for them to mess up or not get it right away; that's how they learn. If they pour too much water in a glass and spill, it's no big deal. We don't make them feel bad. They simply understand that they need to tilt the glass a little less, pour a little slower, or stop a little earlier."

It was at that point that a question popped into my head - When do we stop doing this? When do we stop allowing ourselves the opportunity to try new things, develop new skills, and further our growth? More importantly, why do we stop doing this? Why is it that we think that we can't do it, we freeze in fear, or we turn and run? Why?

Could you imagine if a 3-year old decided that he might not be able to pour the glass of water and never tried? Or how about if he spilled some water on his first attempt and decided that he just wasn't going to get this down and quit trying? What kind person would he grow up to be? A thirsty one; that's what!

Of course it seems ridiculous to consider a 3-year old quitting and never developing a life skill just because he or she didn't get it on the first, second, or tenth time it was attempted. So why in the world do we do this as adults? Why do we ever let it creep into our heads that we can't do something? Why do we ever get to a point where we believe that something is not possible just because it has not happened yet? Why do we give ourselves such permanent labels such as "failed at" when "failure" is such a necessary stepping stone for success?

Did you learn to walk on your first attempt? No. You probably fell directly on your butt numerous times; but each time you got back up. How about learning to tie your shoes? Did you master this skill on your first attempt? Of course not. And thank goodness for that bunny ear trick or we would all be wearing Velcro.

Just think of all the examples in your life - saying your first words, learning to write, riding a bike, learning to read, swimming, adding, subtracting, multiplying, you name it. So many skills learned through the process of not getting it right the first time. My parents can attest to my not getting the bike thing right the first time. But 9 stitches and one emergency room trip later, I got back on my bike.

At some point, however, it seems as if we let other things dictate our attempts. We start to care too much about what other people might think or say about us. We build up the worst case scenario in our minds and let it play out as if it was actually happening. We fear public speaking because we couldn't bare the thought of thousands of opinions looking back at us. We throw in the towel with weight loss because the daily judgements are just too much. We can hear the venomous voices saying, "On another diet, huh? Well good luck this time!"

I'm not going to suggest that there aren't hateful people in this world that say cruel things or think negative thoughts. What I am going to suggest, however, is that you say, "Who gives a damn what they think?" Say it loudly and mean it! Who cares? Their opinions of you are not who you are. In fact, their opinions don't define you. They define them as people that have to give opinions.

Look...I'm talking about any area of your life. If you have failed at dieting and fitness time and time again, good! You have learned that much more to help you develop this skill. Use your knowledge and keep going. If you have tried something new, anything, and did not succeed at your first attempt, it's no big deal. Try it again and again and again. You will get it.

Do you want to exercise? Then exercise. Want to write? Write. Do you want to start your own business? Do it. Have dreams of being a circus clown? Then do it! No matter what is that you want to do, accomplish, learn, or attempt, don't let the opinions of others keep you down. Who cares if you think that others will think you are a freak. You know what I say? Let your freak flag fly and fly it high.

We really can learn from children. They haven't yet developed egos that get bruised, hurt, or walked on. They learn to accomplish something due to their pure desire to do so. They don't care about what other little kids are going to say if they struggle at tying their shoes, they just keep trying. They focus on their task with all of their energy until they get it down. That's how they learn and grow. That's how we all learn and grow.

Let me hear from you! Post your comments.

Perspective - How Tiny Transformations can have Enormous Impacts

Transformation - Is it a word reserved for milestone accomplishments that take enormous amounts of time and energy? It's true that my blog posts and e-mails often share testimonials and stories of the shrunken waistlines and stretched beliefs of those that have worked hard over time, but today I want to focus on one, simple transformation that can take place in just an instant. I want to talk about the power to transform your perspective.

We are all familiar with the word perspective. It's your point of view, how you perceive things, the meaning of an experience. We form our own personal perspectives on everything that we come across on a daily basis. And while we form these perspectives quite easily, are they always right? Do they serve us well? Are they ever challenged? If they aren't, why not?

The thought of sharing this with you today came to me just as I was concluding my morning camp this morning. The rain once again forced us down into the lower level of the parking garage for cover (an area lovingly known as the "dungeon"). This entire week has been damp, and the "dungeon" workouts really can be a test of one's will and grit.

As I recalled the efforts of this morning's class and the evening class the night before, the question hit me - How do my campers perceive this situation? What is there point of view? What meaning does this situation have to them?

Of course they could have been focused on being in the crummy ole garage again or how the rain just won't come to an end. I really don't know how they perceived the situation quite honestly, but I know what I saw. I saw grit, determination, and commitment in them, and I hope that they used this situation to recognize those as well.

You see, that's just it. We are faced with so many different situations in a day and there are so many different ways to perceive them. So often we just let the default program run in the background, and we never really take the opportunity to think about how our perceptions affect everything from our attitudes to how the day ends up. But what if we chose how we viewed things? On a more personal level, what if YOU chose how you viewed things?

Instead of looking at the rain as a nuisance, you looked at it as an opportunity to recognize your commitment to exercising or to spend a few hours playing board games with your kids?

Instead of feeling as if you failed at your last diet, you looked at it as a learning experience of areas you can still work on. You could even change your focus from, "I only lasted a week," to, "I proved that I can do a week."

How about in moments when the boss doesn't appreciate your work, or the jerk in front of you just cut you off? How different would your attitude and your day be if you chose to recognize these situations as an opportunity to prove that you have patience with people instead of getting angry? Pretty different. Right?

When we talk about our power to transform, it really does start here. Thoughts lead to actions, actions lead to habits, and habits lead to lifestyles. It's not the circumstances in your life that dictate what you get; it's your perception of them. So how will you perceive them? Will you choose to let the default program run, or will you look for a better meaning and one that serves you in the situation? It's your choice.

You truly do have the power to make these tiny transformationson a daily basis. And while they do have the illusion of being tiny, they will will have an enormous impact on the actions you take, the habits you make, and the lifestyle that comes along with them. At least, that's my perspective.

Rooting you on,

Mike Thornton

P.S. Dallas camp - 8 spots left for morning and 7 for evening.

P.P.S. White Rock camp - save $10 by enrolling before tomorrow!

To enroll - http://www.TransformationBootCamp.com