Force the Good Stuff

As I skillfully positioned the closet door halfway shut, I looked back over my shoulder to receive the word that I was allowing just enough light to fill the dark and shadowy room. My son Thomas gave me his approval, and I moved to the side of his bed to tuck him in. We had already finished his bedtime story and brushed his teeth. Now it was time for our nigh-time ritual.

"I love you, Thomas." "I wuv you, Daddy." "Sweet dreams." "Sweet dreams." "I'll see you tomorrow." "See you tomorrow." And with that, I kissed his forehead and made my way to the door.

As I looked back at him all tucked into his "big-boy bed," I wondered how many more of these moments I would get to have. It's not that they will be disappearing anytime soon, but I have to admit that time seems to be accelerating exponentially at a pace that I'm not okay with.

All I could think about was how the past 2 1/2 years could be broken up into different types of beds with each bed coming faster than the other. Bed 1 was his crib which he was in for quite some time. Next came the daybed with the rail, but shortly there after the rail was removed. And now within the blink of an eye, he lay there tucked into his "big-boy bed." I'll ask it even though I know you don't know the answer - how do you slow this down?

As I walked downstairs, I was extremely happy that I had forced myself to put Thomas to bed this night. I know it sounds funny to say "forced" when the ritual of tucking in your child is such a joyful and rewarding experience, but it's true. I had forced myself to do it.

I'm not saying that I didn't want to put my son to bed or that I don't enjoy tucking him in. Quite the opposite is true. It's at these moments that I feel that life and love have the most meaning, and I am more clear than ever on what is truly important in my life. These are the moments that I would choose to live in constantly if I could.

What I am saying is that these are also the moments that could have easily escaped me as well. And to be quite honest with you, sometimes they do. I don't get to put my son to bed every night; many nights his mommy does. While I always am sure to hug and kiss him and tell him that I love him, I sometimes miss out on the joy of bedtime stories and the gift of seeing him lay his head to his pillow. But when I do experience these, I wonder how I could ever let them escape me again.

I know I'm not alone, and that's why I'm sharing this with you now. We all have experiences in our lives that escape us. We all have treasured moments that we never get to realize because we let something else get in the way. Maybe it was the 50 e-mails you had to get to at the end of the day. Perhaps it was the stack of paperwork that you had to work through at lunch. It could have even been the groceries, the laundry, the dry cleaning, the meeting, the soccer practice, or the PTA.

And what suffers? What important moments in your life are you not getting to and how is that affecting you? I know I mentioned family, but there are so many moments that we never get to that demand the label "important" as well. Are you putting off your health, your finances, your relationships, your dreams? Is too much work taking the place of working out? Is your relationship with your busy schedule affecting your relationships with the people you love? Have you been pushing your dreams aside to keep pushing through all the other non-important clutter in your life?

I don't ask these questions to point a finger and say, "Just look what I've got figured out, and you don't!" No; I ask because I too have to force myself to do things that can easily escape me if I let them. I too am guilty of letting what's important suffer if I let the petty stuff dictate my life. But it's because I realize just how important these experiences are that I share this.

It's funny because we normally think that forcing ourselves to do something means that we must be doing something that we don't like. But that's not always the case. Sometimes it's these rewarding, life-improving experiences that make us feel on top of the world. While making time for your health and fitness may seem like a burden, I guarantee you that taking care of your body would make you feel at your best. Even though you may have been putting off your dreams, I guarantee that pursuing them would make you much happier than not.

I know...I know. But the day was long. You ran out of time. The boss called a meeting. The kids had soccer practice. You didn't have the energy. You had a million e-mails to answer. You will just have to get to it the next day, or the next day, or the day after that.

Let's not miss out on what's truly important in life whether it be a moment with a loved one, an opportunity to improve our health, or doing the things that make us the happiest. Sure it would be easy to let these things pass us by, but what would we miss? What would suffer?

We may have to force ourselves to say "no" every once in a while, or push away from the desk, or put the laundry on hold, but aren't these important and treasured moments worth forcing ourselves to do so? The answer is and will always remain "yes." And sometimes it takes being in that moment to completely understand just how important it is, but it's that exact moment that could have passed you by.

So how do we slow it down? We can't. We just have to choose wisely. The time will continue to move exponentially, the beds will continue to change, and the moments of our lives will continue to be experienced or lost. Let's just be sure to force the good stuff while we can.