Why don't you START acting like a child!

As I sat perched like an over-sized toddler on the tiniest wooden chair known to mankind (I'm sure), I listened to the head teacher describe the everyday activities of the students in the "primary" room. I was attending open house at my son's Montessori school and was there to learn just exactly what my son would experience in his new classroom. You see he's a big boy now and will soon be making the transition from the "toddler" room to the "primary" room.

With my hands folded across my unusually high knees, I listened intently as each working station in the room was described. From reading and writing to mathematics and geography, the team of teachers described the activities of the children and more importantly how they would learn from these activities.

It was the practical life area that grabbed my attention the most, however. If your not familiar with the Montessori method of teaching, the practical life area is where they concentrate on learning everyday activities from pouring a drink of water on their own to developing strength for writing skills.

It wasn't so much the practical life area itself that grabbed my attention, it was how the teacher explained the learning method. She said, "We only teach them each skill once. After that, the continue to learn through application." She continued, "It's okay for them to mess up or not get it right away; that's how they learn. If they pour too much water in a glass and spill, it's no big deal. We don't make them feel bad. They simply understand that they need to tilt the glass a little less, pour a little slower, or stop a little earlier."

It was at that point that a question popped into my head - When do we stop doing this? When do we stop allowing ourselves the opportunity to try new things, develop new skills, and further our growth? More importantly, why do we stop doing this? Why is it that we think that we can't do it, we freeze in fear, or we turn and run? Why?

Could you imagine if a 3-year old decided that he might not be able to pour the glass of water and never tried? Or how about if he spilled some water on his first attempt and decided that he just wasn't going to get this down and quit trying? What kind person would he grow up to be? A thirsty one; that's what!

Of course it seems ridiculous to consider a 3-year old quitting and never developing a life skill just because he or she didn't get it on the first, second, or tenth time it was attempted. So why in the world do we do this as adults? Why do we ever let it creep into our heads that we can't do something? Why do we ever get to a point where we believe that something is not possible just because it has not happened yet? Why do we give ourselves such permanent labels such as "failed at" when "failure" is such a necessary stepping stone for success?

Did you learn to walk on your first attempt? No. You probably fell directly on your butt numerous times; but each time you got back up. How about learning to tie your shoes? Did you master this skill on your first attempt? Of course not. And thank goodness for that bunny ear trick or we would all be wearing Velcro.

Just think of all the examples in your life - saying your first words, learning to write, riding a bike, learning to read, swimming, adding, subtracting, multiplying, you name it. So many skills learned through the process of not getting it right the first time. My parents can attest to my not getting the bike thing right the first time. But 9 stitches and one emergency room trip later, I got back on my bike.

At some point, however, it seems as if we let other things dictate our attempts. We start to care too much about what other people might think or say about us. We build up the worst case scenario in our minds and let it play out as if it was actually happening. We fear public speaking because we couldn't bare the thought of thousands of opinions looking back at us. We throw in the towel with weight loss because the daily judgements are just too much. We can hear the venomous voices saying, "On another diet, huh? Well good luck this time!"

I'm not going to suggest that there aren't hateful people in this world that say cruel things or think negative thoughts. What I am going to suggest, however, is that you say, "Who gives a damn what they think?" Say it loudly and mean it! Who cares? Their opinions of you are not who you are. In fact, their opinions don't define you. They define them as people that have to give opinions.

Look...I'm talking about any area of your life. If you have failed at dieting and fitness time and time again, good! You have learned that much more to help you develop this skill. Use your knowledge and keep going. If you have tried something new, anything, and did not succeed at your first attempt, it's no big deal. Try it again and again and again. You will get it.

Do you want to exercise? Then exercise. Want to write? Write. Do you want to start your own business? Do it. Have dreams of being a circus clown? Then do it! No matter what is that you want to do, accomplish, learn, or attempt, don't let the opinions of others keep you down. Who cares if you think that others will think you are a freak. You know what I say? Let your freak flag fly and fly it high.

We really can learn from children. They haven't yet developed egos that get bruised, hurt, or walked on. They learn to accomplish something due to their pure desire to do so. They don't care about what other little kids are going to say if they struggle at tying their shoes, they just keep trying. They focus on their task with all of their energy until they get it down. That's how they learn and grow. That's how we all learn and grow.

Let me hear from you! Post your comments.